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GUN FOR YOU? Marjorie
Casey's Story Thirty days passed and he stonewalled me every time I brought up our agreement that he would move out. I was getting uneasy. Then it turned out the little girl was not his daughter but the child of a relative who had been incarcerated. It was getting worse. Creditors started coming to the condo looking for him, and I realized he was a scam artist. I became frightened. The police could not help me because I had authorized him to stay as a renter and it would take time to evict him. He had not done anything the police could arrest him for—I checked. I felt trapped. I had no agency to turn to and nowhere else to live. It was clear I had to confront him and tell him to leave.
"You bitch!" he shouted, then he started slamming the wall with his fist. I had never been around violence before. I just freaked and I pulled out the gun.
I pulled the trigger—hit him twice. He kept coming. I know it happened in a split second, but it seemed like slow motion. He slugged me in the head and tried to take the gun from me. I held on to it. We fell backward into the television and table, knocking everything over as we fell. I was screaming. He was shouting, "I'll kill you, bitch!" He was on top of me, straddling me. He had one hand on my gun, the other hand hitting and choking me. Then the worst happened. He wrestled the gun from me, held it to my face . . . click. It didn't fire. He hit me in
the head with the gun, choked me, and slugged me over and over.
Suddenly, something in me switched—my fear changed to hate.
I exploded. I was insane with madness. I struck back, biting, What
Marjorie Did Wrong The confrontation was necessary but could have been better planned. She should have chosen a different location, preferably not a small enclosed space, and asked someone to accompany her for support. In hindsight, at the very least Marjorie would have had a witness. What
Marjorie Did Right Because of previous training that focused on her ability to concentrate, she was able to use her firearm effectively at a critical distance under extreme conditions. For
the Record Note: I've seen many cases like this one where a woman faces potential violence from a man and the police are powerless to intervene. In America, 30 to 35 percent of all women murder victims are killed by ex-husbands, husbands, boyfriends, or people well known to them. Even though Marjorie was familiar with guns and didn't miss, she was still overpowered and her gun was used against her. It was pure luck that the gun jammed. A fact often misunderstood by people who decide to use guns for protection is one or more bullets seldom instantly stop an attacker. More often, even when hit with multiple bullets, a mortally wounded attacker is still able to reach, grab, struggle with, and often disarm the shooter, with far more physical power available to him than he normally would have. Marjorie is alive because she didn't accept helplessness. Nor did she give up when the police didn't intervene. Most important, she didn't give up when he overpowered her, wrenched and twisted the gun from her, injuring her hand badly, choked her, and hit her face over and over with the steel of the gun. Instead, Marjorie reacted to everything as most men would. The double standard: young men are conditioned to be self-reliant; young women are conditioned to seek help. The result for most women is that they are not prepared to face death, mentally or physically, and survive. Relying on the police or others to save you is gambling big-time. We usually get there too late. So, that's the sobering news about guns for personal protection. And, the bottom line is unchanged: the difference between being just armed versus armed, safe, and effective is big-time. A lot of people know a little about guns, some know a lot about guns, but few know anything about using guns at critical distances and under deadly conditions. U. S. Constitutionally speaking, owning and using a gun or not using one is your decision. But if you want to include a gun in your family's protection plan, you must know how to use it effectively and safely. You need to go beyond just being armed. That means meeting the following criteria before loading up.
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I
remember the day I was going to tell him he must leave. I was in
my office in the spare bedroom and a sense of danger went through
me that I couldn't explain. I went to my closet and unpacked the
gun my father had given me, loaded it, and placed it in my pocket.
I knew how to use it. Our family had been ranchers. I had never
done anything like that before. Looking back, I guess I was finally
listening to my instincts. When he returned that day, I told him,
"You need to find another place to live immediately. I'm aware of
your scams." He immediately turned very profane and threatening.
It was like a switch from Jekyll to Hyde. 
He
was a few feet from me, yelling, "Fuck you, bitch!" He lunged at
me. 
kicking,
and screaming. I got him off me and flew down the stairs and ran
out the door. A carpet cleaner in a nearby condo called 911. The
police finally arrived and took me to the hospital. The man died.